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Essay on Single Parenting: Two Parents Or One?

• Essay on Single Parenting: Two…

Family life is much different today than what it used to be. Several years ago mothers would stay at home with their children while the father went to work to support his family, but it is nothing like that today in American households.

Today it is common for children to be raised by just one of their parents, and those children are often disadvantaged in several ways. The most consistent finding from studies of family structure shows that single parents exert weaker controls and make fewer demands on their children than married families do (Curtin et al. 368). There is a real easy explanation for this problem, it is the simple fact that two parents together make more rules and are more likely to stick by those rules than single parents are (Curtin et al. 368).

Single parents are not able to show the same emotions as married couples can because the love between a mother and a father plays an important part in a family. Children learn how to love from their parents, but if both parents are not there to teach them how to love, their love might be somewhat one-sided (Curtin et al. 371).

Yes, single parents can show their love toward their children, but they have no spouse to express love to. Children from single-parent families are therefore denied the learning experience of how a husband and a wife should love one another (Curtin et al. 369).

Relationships are another thing that everyone needs, especially children. Children need a real strong relationship between themselves and their parents, but children from single-parent families are usually denied this privilege because they are separated from one of their parents and often do not get to spend adequate time with the other.

Children who have a strong relationship with their parents are more likely to respect the authority of their parents (Curtin et al. 370). The problem with a single parent is the fact that usually, the single parent does not have the time to help the child develop a close relationship with them.

Another problem is how a child can build a strong relationship with a parent they do not live with and often do not see on a regular basis. The simple fact is that children need both of their parents in the household to build a close relationship with and to teach them to respect the parent’s authority. True, not all children from two-parent households have close relationships with their parents, but it is much more likely.

Gender also plays an important role in families. Men and women have very different characteristics, both emotionally and physically. These different characteristics contribute to their roles as mothers and fathers (Curtin et al. 369). For instance, men are normally much stronger physically than women and are therefore able to do many things around the house that a woman cannot.

Women are much more likely to do the everyday household chores while the man does the heavy-duty work. Women usually tend more to the children when they need things than do the men, and also help them more with emotional type problems (Curtin et al. 369). So it is easy to see why having both parents in the household makes a much more well-rounded family atmosphere.

When both parents are not in the household, children experience a great deal of stress from different aspects of their lives. This stress often comes from children who are forced into independence and self-reliance before they are mature enough to cope (“Children” 58).

Many single parents leave their children at home or send them to low-quality daycare centers while they are at work, causing stress on the children (“Children” 60). Yes, two-parent families often leave their children at home or send them to low-quality daycares, but studies show that it is ten times more likely to happen in single-parent families (“Children” 59).

Another time that brings a great deal of stress to single-parent homes is the holidays. The holidays are a time when families should be together. Single parents may not be able to provide this for their children (“Holidays” 3). Another problem that arises during the holidays is that of gift competition between the parents (“Holidays” 3). The problem with the parents competing over who gets the best gift is the fact that the children often feel as if the parents want to buy their love instead of earning it by showing them love.

Children of single-parent homes also face stress by always worrying about everything that is going on in their lives. According to Richard Kinsey single-parent children worried more about school, family, future, finding work, crime, and their environment by a large margin (16). However, the biggest worry of these children was about their own personal loves and what was going to happen to them as they grew up (Kinsey 16).

Richard Kinsey also did a survey on crimes committed by children in both two-parent homes and single-parent homes. He found that children in two-parent homes self-reported committing crimes at a rate of 59%, but children from single-parent homes self-reported committing crimes at a rate of 74% (16). This survey gives a strong emphasis on how important the respect of authority is for children. It also showed how children from single-parent homes are more likely to commit crimes than children from two-parent homes.

Single-parent homes not only reflect or cause stress upon children but also upon the parent. Single mothers especially feel stress when a father figure is not present (Allen et al. 390). According to the survey done by Katherine Allen and Peggy Quinn, seventy percent of the single mothers reported that they always worried about money (390).

Not only was money a big issue, but also time and energy (392). These single mothers are put under pressure from about every aspect of their lives, and without a husband there to help raise a family, pay the bills, and show them love, the single mother must nearly feel hopeless.

Another big stress for single mothers is the fact that now they have the responsibility of two parents (Allen et al. 392). One woman describes how she felt: “And on the weekends then, mow the yard, and clean the house, and wash the clothes.

When you get done doing that, it’s Monday all over again” (Allen et al. 392). Most parents from two-parent homes realize the responsibility they have and the stress that they face with a spouse there to support them, but just imagine that spouse not being there to help support and help with the responsibilities of the family and that is exactly what it is like to be a single parent.

Now we have seen the pressures that single mothers face, but what about single fathers because there are many of them in the world today. One example can be found in the article ” A Singular Experience,” by Brad Andrews. Andrews himself is a single father and he discusses the overwhelming responsibilities of being a single father (8). He now has to do all of the household chores and take care of the children all by himself.

He can no longer play catch with his son after dinner because now he has to do the dishes (8). These single-parent situations create instability and do not provide a positive environment for children to grow up in. Both a father and a mother are needed to create a stable environment and a positive place for children to live.

Another example is the article “Single Fathers With Custody” by Alfred DeMaris and Geoffrey Grief. DeMaris and Grief explain the fact that single fathers experience the same worries and overwhelming responsibilities that single mothers do. Fathers face financial worries, pressures from work, and pressure of time for themselves and their children (DeMaris et al. 260).

The simple fact is that being a single parent is a very difficult task, whether it is a single father or a single mother. A family consists of a father and a mother with their children, not just one parent. Single-parent homes create a lot of stress and worries on the parent as well as the children, and the stress and worries are not needed by either. After all, it takes two to make a child; it should take two to raise a child.

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This was definitely written by a teenager that lives with two parents.

You do not know that, I’ve lived with one parents all my life and some of these things I would agree with.

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How Does Society View Single Parents? Research Paper

Introduction, single parent, how society views single parenthood, works cited.

Single families face various challenges as they try to bring up their children like other families. They also face stigmatization in some societies where they are rejected and disapproved. In addition, some religious sectors like Islam and Christianity do not show open support for single parenthood, especially if its causes are contrary to their beliefs.

Single parents therefore face problems from all corners, ranging from schools, government positions, and society at large. Caring for their children is also a challenge as they have to ensure that children grow just as the others who have both parents.

One of the most difficult problems facing single parents is how to integrate into the society with their families. Most societies only recognize married couples as able to raise children in an effective way. Furthermore, children find themselves isolated when in learning institutions as others embrace both parent while they glare in awe (DePaullo 1).

Causes of single parenthood vary and usually lead to different societal views. For instance, single parenthood arising from death of one partner is usually considered correct. However, it does not shoulder the responsibilities that come with it. On the other hand, single parenthood arising from separation and divorce face integration problems in the society, apart from the increased responsibilities.

This disparity in how the society and community at large treat single parents has raised concern all over the world. Their isolation in some States has led to poor development of their children as they are left to offer parental duties to the children. This paper will try to argue out whether societal judgment of single parents based on its cause is justifiable. It will also endeavor to explore the problems faced by single parents in detail (DePaullo 1).

A single parent refers to one who cares for one or more children without the help of one of the biological parents of the child or children. Different nations have varying laws related to single parenthood.

These laws determine how those families are treated or served by their respective governments. Single parenthood may be caused by either of these, choice or unexpected circumstances. The latter include death of one of the parents, abandonment which may occur in tough conditions, parents who neglect their children may cause them to rely on the others for both needs, teenage pregnancies or children born outside marriage.

Single parenthood caused by choice includes scenarios such as surrogate motherhood, child adoption, divorce and separation between biological parents as well as artificial insemination, among others. These factors that cause single parenthood also influence their way of life. It is estimated that most single parent families face prospects of poverty given the increased responsibilities (DePaullo 1).

Some Governments like the United States, UK, Australia, among others, in which there is high rates of single parent families have devised ways of assisting them.

For instance, United States had about 13 million single families in 2006, among which those headed by females were about 80%. This is quite a high rate and the effects are real as they try to make homes for these families. The UK estimated that 52% of single parent families lived below their defined poverty line in 2009, with over 3 million children raised by single parents.

This survey estimated that the UK had about 1.9 million single parents, a very high rate comparing its size and population with the United States. Australia also had over 14% single parent families, a very high number to work with. This has forced government to come in with strategies to assist them given their exposure to poverty and stigma (DePaullo 1).

Society is very instrumental in helping single families integrate well with other members of a community. Of great concern is the fact that most societies categorize single families based on the causes of their status. In most cases divorcees are seen as a bad influence in societies without considering its causes, the church shuns divorce and this makes it very difficult for divorcees to integrate well in the society.

This makes them look like sinners among other congregation. Also, society considers these families as failures and do not approve of their dealings. Some sectors of religion even disapprove integration with such people as they assume that they are bad influence to the supposed ‘clean’ society. This has cause stigma to such families as their children face all sorts of scorn and unanswered questions from their parents (DePaullo 1).

Furthermore, those single families that are caused by unexpected circumstances like death still face some sort of isolation although not to an extent of those caused by choice. In most societies, isolation comes in facing and shouldering of family responsibilities for these single parents.

Schools are areas of challenges for children and parents from single parenthood. Even single parent teachers face discriminations in schools, making it much more difficult for mere students or parents. The stigma that comes with such problems are likely to leave them isolated in community projects and other societal activities.

That is why it is quite important to address such problems as single parenthood, which in most cases, rarely comes out of choice. Most people find themselves in such situations and therefore need communal support as well as government assistance to help them become important channels of development in the society (Richards 277-285).

The paper discusses whether it is right or justifiable to judge single parents based on the causes of their status. Conservatives usually consider single parenthood caused by choice as a taboo in the society. On the other hand, modern societies have continued to embrace single parenthood irrespective of the cause.

Nonetheless, Religious sectors feel that these developments cause societal degradation and pollution of a once ‘clean’ society. These sentiments are usually shared by most religious sectors which abhor such actions. Should society judge single parents based on causes of the status? The following discussion would provide a clear answer to that (Richards 277-285).

Single parents should be judged based on causes of their status

There are several reasons that would make one believe that single parents need to be judged based on causes of their status. For instance, those parents who decide to divorce knowing very well the coming repercussions that would overwhelm them and their children should be discouraged from doing so, when the community or society makes divorce a taboo, this discourages unnecessary divorce.

When these families are not discouraged the society will be polluted and derailed. Such behaviors, on purpose should be discouraged as they may lead to distortions in family values. The world is full of various events and problems, people should be ready to persevere, and this would help in uniting many families (Richards 277-285).

When children have both parents, then their development is well taken care of. Children without one of their parents often end up in mix-ups such as early marriages, teenage pregnancies, stereotype against other genders, which is very destructive to a normal society.

Drug abuse in teenager is mostly connected to child negligence or abuse. Societies will never tolerate child abuse, and negligence. Therefore in that regard, it is important that single parenthood by choice is discouraged in the society. This will help in ensuring good moral values in the community (Richards 277-285).

In that respect, parents should be discouraged from making difficult choices for their children, in divorcing. As much as life is quite difficult and full of distrusts, parents should try as much as they can to avoid such issues, this will be good for their children. It is very important to have children in marriage with both parents fulfilling their responsibilities. Most single parenthoods are as a result of parents neglecting their responsibilities.

This has to be discouraged at all costs, because those who suffer in such situations are children as well as the single parent. Therefore, society is justified in dictating pathways that its members should take, without which; they should be held responsible (Sacks 10).

Single parents should not be judged based on their status

Single parents are just like other people in the community; their status is mostly due to happenings that are beyond control, for instance, when divorce occurs, one of the divorcees usually ends up disappointed or victimized, we cannot judge victims as this would be contrary to societal beliefs. In that regard, single parenthood caused by divorce should not be condemned.

Moreover, some parents neglect their children due to family burdens; some people cannot afford to adequately provide such services to their children and without intending to do so, ends up neglecting their own children. Society should consider these children as their own, with responsibility for their protection lying on their shoulders.

Single parents also need full backing from governments and other related agencies, to boost them both financially and emotionally. In addition, it is important to note that children that suffer from such situations are never at fault, society should therefore endeavor to provide adequate support for these children, physically, and most importantly emotionally by backup their parents (Risman 1049).

Single parents therefore face problems from all corners, ranging from schools, government positions, and society at large. The argument above emphasizes the fact that single parenthood should not be done at will, through careless divorce or neglect of children.

The first argument for society’s justification in judging or isolating single parents, especially those caused out of choice argue that when this is encouraged, people will neglect their responsibilities out of simple problems that can be solved amicably (Richards 277-285).

The second argument, against society’s justification states that even though some people neglect or divorce out of small differences, there are victims of divorce who need to be protected by the society and provided with necessities to enable their children succeed in life.

It goes on to state that these children need protection and love, which only the society can provide. Neglecting them is suicidal for a community that needs to focus on the future.

Moreover, as has been stated above, neglected children tend to enter into bad groupings that would eventually cost society its gains. The society is there to safeguard its members and this cannot be achieved if children are neglected irrespective of the cause. It is therefore important to note that society is not justified in their treatment of single parents (Quinlan 376-390).

It is important to state that single parenthood is a difficult task, as the needs of children are shouldered by one individual. It is also imperative to note that most single parent occurrences are never out of both parent’s wish, but unexpectedly, or out of situations that are quite difficult to understand.

The complexity of such situations ends up in divorce leaving children to one parent, who may or may not have the capability of providing all the requirements. In this regard, as much as society may be justified in their judgment, single parents need support both from the community and government.

They are isolated and feel deprived of social pleasure. These should be accorded to them as required since they too are citizens, who works hard for the good of the nation. They should be allowed into high positions without questions as to their single parenthood; this will boost their morale and have a positive effect on their children (Pong 23-42).

DePaullo, Bella. “The Scientific Study of People who are single: An Annotated Bibliography”. Association of single People . 17.05.2011.17.05.2011. Web.

Pong, Suet-ling. “The School Compositional Effect of Single Parenthood on 10th Grade Achievement”. Sociology of Education 71:1 (1998), 23-42.

Quinlan, Robert. “Father absence, parental care, and female reproductive development”. Evolution and Human Behavior . Volume 24, Issue 6, November 2003, Pages 376-390.

Richards, Leslie and Schmiege, Cynthia. “Family Relations”. Family Diversity . Vol. 42, No. 3, pp. 277–285.

Risman, Barbara, and Park, Kyung. “Just The Two of Us: Parent-Child Relationships in Single-Parent Homes”. Journal of Marriage and the Family . 1988, 50, 4, Nov, 1049.

Sacks, George. “Boys without fathers is not a logical new idea.” Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Little Rock: Arkansas.

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1 minute read

Single-Parent Families

In summary, single-parent families increased in number and as a percentage of all families from the 1970s to the 1990s. Single-parent families represent a diverse group of parents raising children on their own through a diverse set of circumstances. To understand the ways in which being raised in a single-parent family affects the lives of children, it is necessary to consider the individual circumstances of families in regard to economic disadvantage, residential instability, parenting competencies, and inter-parental conflict.

See also: FATHERS ; PARENTING ; WORKING FAMILIES

Bibliography

Amato, Paul R. "Diversity within Single-Parent Families." In David H. Demo, Kartherine R. Allen, and Mark A. Fine eds., Handbook of Family Diversity. New York: Oxford University Press, 2000.

Biblarz, Timothy J., and Adrian E. Raftery. "Family Structure, Educational Attainment, and Socioeconomic Success: Rethinking the 'Pathology of Matriarchy."' American Journal of Sociology 105 (1999):321-365.

Heath, Terri, ed. "Single Mothers, Single Fathers." Special issue of Journal of Family Issues 20, no. 4 (1999).

Hetherington, Mavis, Martha Cox, and Roger Cox. "Effects of Divorce on Parents and Children." In Michael E. Lamb ed., Nontraditional Families: Parenting and Child Development. Hills-dale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum, 1982.

Weinraub, Marsha, and Marcy B. Gringlas. "Single Parenthood."In Marc H. Bornstein ed., Handbook of Parenting, Vol. 3: Status and Social Conditions of Parenting. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum, 1995.

Anne C. Fletcher

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