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We are excited to offer a wide range of psychology courses this summer! Summer courses are open to both University of Rochester students as well as students from other universities.
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Couples report healthier, stronger relationships after one month of using a relationship app codeveloped by a Rochester psychologist.
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Christie Petrenko , a research associate professor at the University’s Mt. Hope Family Center , director of clinical training in the Department of Psychology, and an associate professor of pediatrics, has been recognized with the 2024 Starfish Award , presented at FASD United’s 9th International Research Conference on Adolescents and Adults with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders . The award, whose recipients are selected by a committee of adult self-advocates with FASD, recognizes Petrenko’s considerable contributions as a researcher and an advocate in the field.
Petrenko is the codeveloper of an FASD mobile app . She has coauthored a training manual to help medical professionals diagnose the disorder as well as a comprehensive FASD resource for clinicians and researchers.
Read about Petrenko’s work to help people with FASD thrive .
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Managing conflict differently will likely bring you closer to your partner..
Posted September 28, 2024 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma
When a high-conflict relationship enters my office, I usually point it out immediately. This is because it is impossible to heal and grow before you accept the reality of your situation. Otherwise, instead of developing new tools for connecting, you go round and round with the same old list of upsets.
If you feel stuck, unheard, and walk constantly on eggshells, then you and your partner are likely living with the stress of a chronic emotional crisis. As a result, feelings are pulsing; you canât think clearly, and perspective is out of reach. If you learn to manage conflict differently you may find you feel better and closer to your partner even after a disagreement. The problem: Couples are very resistant to doing what needs to be done to initiate this new pattern.
In my experience, couples who improve always have two things in common: They accept that they are in a high-conflict relationship and each comes to recognize that they must focus on changing themselves.
Take a moment to consider whether your relationship is high-conflict and pick an area that you are willing to change on your own.
As you start a new pattern and commit to it, no matter how your partner reacts, you will find yourself becoming less defeated and stuck. Either your relationship will grow, or you will grow as an individual, either way, your path forward becomes clearer.
Jill P. Weber, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and the author of Overcoming Stress-Induced Brain Fog: 10 Simple Ways to Find Focus, Improve Memory, and Feel Grounded.
Itâs increasingly common for someone to be diagnosed with a condition such as ADHD or autism as an adult. A diagnosis often brings relief, but it can also come with as many questions as answers.
American culture prioritizes romance, but psychological science is exploring the human need for platonic relationships and the specific ways in which they bolster well-being
Vol. 54 No. 4 Print version: page 42
American culture places a high premium on romantic love. In fact, relationship woesâor the lack thereofâare among the top reasons people seek therapy. And while romance can be a meaningful part of life, the benefits of friendships should not be overlooked. Psychological research suggests that stable, healthy friendships are crucial for our well-being and longevity.
People who have friends and close confidants are more satisfied with their lives and less likely to suffer from depression ( Choi, K. W., et al., The American Journal of Psychiatry , Vol. 177, No. 10, 2020 ). Theyâre also less likely to die from all causes, including heart problems and a range of chronic diseases ( Holt-Lunstad, J., et al., PLOS Medicine , Vol. 7, No. 7, 2010 ; Steptoe, A., et al., PNAS , Vol. 110, No. 15, 2013 ).
âOn the other hand, when people are low in social connectionâbecause of isolation, loneliness, or poor-quality relationshipsâthey face an increased risk of premature death,â said Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University who studies how relationships affect the body and brain.
Fortunately, research also suggests that friendships can be made and maintained at any age, relationships with friends can strengthen or stand in for romantic relationships, and even minimal social interactions can be powerful.
[ Related: Conversations are powerful. Here are ways to embrace the awkward and deepen relationships ]
âFriendship is something we really need to understand. Thereâs been this preoccupation with romantic relationships, but many of our close relationships are with friends,â said Thalia Wheatley, PhD, a professor in the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Dartmouth College who studies social connectivity. âSo how do they impact our health?â
Psychological research from around the world shows that having social connections is one of the most reliable predictors of a long, healthy, and satisfying life.
A review of 38 studies found that adult friendships, especially high-quality ones that provide social support and companionship, significantly predict well-being and can protect against mental health issues such as depression and anxietyâand those benefits persist across the life span ( Pezirkianidis, C., et al., Frontiers in Psychology , Vol. 14, 2023 ; Blieszner, R., et al., Innovation in Aging , Vol. 3, No. 1, 2019 ). People with no friends or poor-quality friendships are twice as likely to die prematurely, according to Holt-Lunstadâs meta-analysis of more than 308,000 peopleâa risk factor even greater than the effects of smoking 20 cigarettes per day ( PLOS Medicine , Vol. 7, No. 7, 2010 ).
âIn the face of lifeâs challenges, having a close friend to turn to seems to be a buffer or protective factor against some of the negative outcomes we might otherwise see,â said Catherine Bagwell, PhD, a professor of psychology at Davidson College in North Carolina.
Friendships protect us in part by changing the way we respond to stress. Blood pressure reactivity is lower when people talk to a supportive friend rather than a friend whom they feel ambivalent about ( Holt-Lunstad, J., et al., Annals of Behavioral Medicine , Vol. 33, No. 3, 2007 ). Participants who have a friend by their side while completing a tough task have less heart rate reactivity than those working alone ( Kamarck, T. W., et al., Psychosomatic Medicine , Vol. 52, No. 1, 1990 ). In one study, people even judged a hill to be less steep when they were accompanied by a friend ( Schnall, S., et al., Journal of Experimental Social Psychology , Vol. 44, No. 5, 2008 ).
Scientists studying friendship have even found similar brain activity among friends in regions responsible for a range of functions, including motivation, reward, identity, and sensory processing ( GĂŒroÄlu, B., Child Development Perspectives , Vol. 16, No. 2, 2022 ). When Wheatley and her colleagues collected fMRI data on people in a social network, closer friends had more similar brain activity when watching a series of video clips ( Nature Communications , Vol. 9, 2018 ). In another study, currently under review, she and her colleagues can even begin to predict whether first-year MBA students at Dartmouth will later become friends based solely on their neural patterns.
âThe big surprise here is that the similarities are all over the brain, including regions that control how we direct our attention, how we think about things, and even what weâre looking at,â Wheatley said.
On the other side of the coin, research has shown that lonelinessâamong people who lack quality friendships, romantic partnerships, or other relationshipsâincreases our risk for heart attack, stroke, and premature death, according to a longitudinal study of nearly 480,000 U.K. residents ( Hakulinen, C., et al., Heart , Vol. 104, No. 18, 2018 ). A meta-analysis by Holt-Lunstad estimates that loneliness increases the risk of early death as much as 26% ( Perspectives on Psychological Science , Vol. 10, No. 2, 2015 ).
Those findings have prompted leading health organizations, including the American Heart Association and the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (NASEM), to warn the public against the dangers of isolation, particularly for older adults ( Cené, C. W., et al., Journal of the American Heart Association , Vol. 11, No. 16, 2022 ; Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults: Opportunities for the Health Care System , NASEM, 2020).
Despite the risks, Americans are getting lonelier. In 2021, 12% of U.S. adults said they did not have any close friends, up from 3% in 1990 ( âThe State of American Friendship: Change, Challenges, and Loss,â Survey Center on American Life, 2021 ). That decline began well before the Covid -19 pandemic, with companionship and social engagement among friends, family, and others decreasing steadily over the past two decades ( Kannan, V. D., & Veazie, P. J., SSM â Population Health , Vol. 21, 2023 ).
Social disconnection, which is rising across age groups, appears to have worsened after 2012, when smartphones and social media became virtually ubiquitous. An international study of high school students found that between 2012 and 2018, school loneliness increased in 36 of 37 countries ( Twenge, J. M., et al., Journal of Adolescence , Vol. 93, No. 1, 2021 ).
âThere were significant downward trends in social contact even before the pandemic,â Holt-Lunstad said. âWhatâs remarkable about that is that âgetting back to normalâ is not going to be enoughâbecause it wasnât looking good before.â
The Covid -19 pandemic likely exacerbated an existing trend toward social isolationâand it also provided a natural way for scientists to measure the effects of that shift. Bagwell and psychologist Karen Kochel, PhD, of the University of Richmond, found that college students with less social support from their friends during the first year of the pandemic also had more problems with anxiety, depression, and academic adjustment ( Emerging Adulthood , Vol. 10, No. 5, 2022 ).
âFor these students, their relationships with their friends and peers were quite significant in predicting how they were doing, both academically and in terms of their emotional adjustment,â Bagwell said.
[ Related: Making new friends and keeping existing ones is hard. Hereâs some science-backed tips to help ]
Having a close friend or confidant is undeniably good for us, but psychologists have found that interactions with acquaintancesâand even strangersâcan also give our mental health a boost. A casual relationship with the operator of a hot dog stand in Toronto helped Gillian Sandstrom, PhD, feel grounded and connected while pursuing her masterâs degree. The relationship also inspired Sandstrom, now a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Sussex, to start studying âweakâ social ties.
These connections with acquaintancesâa work friend you bump into once a week, the pet store employee who remembers your catâcan be surprisingly sustaining. Sandstromâs research has found that people who have more weak-tie interactions are happier than those who have fewer and that people tend to be happier on days when they have more than their average number of weak-tie interactions ( Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , Vol. 40, No. 7, 2014 ). She also encourages talking to strangers and has shown that repeated practice can make doing so easier and more enjoyable ( Journal of Experimental Social Psychology , Vol. 102, 2022 ).
âThese minimal social interactions give us something important that we missed during the pandemic: novelty,â Sandstrom said. âWe learn surprising things when we have unplanned encounters and conversations with people,â a benefit that people tend to underestimate ( Atir, S., et al., PNAS , Vol. 119, No. 34, 2022 ).
People often avoid conversations with strangers, assuming they will be awkward or shallow, but research suggests those worries may be overblown. Psychologist Nicholas Epley, PhD, of the University of Chicago, and his colleagues have found that conversations with strangers tend to be less awkward, more enjoyable, and more connecting than people expect. To their own surprise, people also tend to prefer having deep conversations with strangers over shallow ones ( Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , Vol. 122, No. 3, 2022 ).
Sandstrom has some advice for connecting with strangers: Tap into your curiosity. Ask someone what theyâre reading, for example, or why theyâre wearing airplane earrings. Another tip: Comment on the shared situation. While standing in the checkout line at a mini-mart, Sandstrom once connected with a fellow customer over the storeâs unusual mishmash of Halloween and Christmas decorations.
âYouâre in the same place at the same time as the other person, so thereâs always something in common,â she said.
We tend to see friendship and romance as separate entities, but the two may have more in common than we realize. Psychological research points to qualities such as chemistry, intimacy, and warmth as key building blocks of close, stable friendships ( Ledbetter, A. M., et al., Personal Relationships , Vol. 14, No. 2, 2007 ; Campbell, K., et al., The Social Science Journal , Vol. 52, No. 2, 2015 ).
Regular interactions with acquaintancesâthe local coffee barista, for exampleâmake people happier.
âWhen we view behaviors that create intimacyâbeing vulnerable, buying gifts, taking someone out on a dateâas only appropriate for a romantic relationship, we end up limiting the potential of our friendships,â said psychologist Marisa G. Franco, PhD, an assistant clinical professor at the University of Maryland and author of Platonic , a book about making and keeping friends. âMany of us could really benefit from blurring the lines between the two.â
Conversely, romantic relationships may be more fulfilling if they look more like friendships. An analysis of nearly 8,000 respondents to the British Household Panel Survey showed that life satisfaction was about twice as high among people who said their spouse was also their best friend ( âHowâs Life at Home? New Evidence on Marriage and the Set Point for Happiness,â NBER Working Paper No. 20794, 2014 ).
Research also suggests a symbiosis between romantic and platonic relationships, Franco said, suggesting that one can benefit the other. For example, marital conflict can trigger unhealthy changes in cortisol levels, but that harm is buffered when spouses feel they have adequate social support outside the marriage ( Keneski, E., et al., Social Psychological and Personality Science , Vol. 9, No. 8, 2017 ). Other research indicates that women who have social support are more resilient to stress that occurs within a marriage ( Abbas, J., et al., Journal of Affective Disorders , Vol. 244, 2019 ).
Thereâs also reason to believe that skills developed in friendships can be carried forward into healthier romantic relationships, particularly among teens and young adults.
âFriendships are the first relationships in life that we get to freely choose,â said Melanie Dirks, PhD, a professor of psychology at McGill University in Montreal who studies peer relationships in children, adolescents, and young adults. âBecause of that, they present a really important opportunity to learn how to navigate challenging interpersonal situations before we enter relationships as adults.â
For example, self-disclosure between friendsâsharing thoughts and feelingsâhelps young adults build empathy for others, practice seeking and providing social support, and even solidify their identities, said Rebecca Schwartz-Mette, PhD, an associate professor of clinical psychology and director of the Peer Relations Lab at the University of Maine who studies friendship in children, adolescents, and young adults.
Many young adults in the United States are juggling life transitions, stress, and developmental challengesâand friends are typically their main sources of social support, which makes them critical for psychologists to study and understand, said Dirks.
She has studied the types of challenges that tend to arise in young adult friendships, finding that they undergo strain for one of three reasons: needs are in conflict (for example: thereâs one spot on a sports team that both friends want); a transgression occurs (for example: one friend reveals private information about the other); or friends have trouble exchanging support (for example: one has a problem with alcohol use, but the other doesnât know how to help) ( Journal of Research on Adolescence , Vol. 31, No. 2, 2021 ).
In childhood and adolescence, high-quality friendships can protect kids from mental health issuesâsuch as anxiety and depressionâthat might otherwise result from social challenges, including being bullied ( Bayer, J. K., et al., Child and Adolescent Mental Health , Vol. 23, No. 4, 2018 ). But there are also conditions where mental health struggles can harm friendships. Schwartz-Mette and her colleagues have found that between friends, excessive self-disclosure about lifeâs challenges (known as âcoruminationâ) can trigger distancing within a friendship or even lead to the social contagion of depression, self-injury, and suicidality ( Developmental Psychology , Vol. 50, No. 9, 2014 ; Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology , Vol. 47, No. 6, 2018 ).
âOur goal in isolating these different friendship trajectories is to inform interventions for people who are distressedâso that they can keep their relationships and have that crucial social support but not overtax or overstress their relationship partners,â Schwartz-Mette said.
Given the clear benefits of friendship, psychologists say we should promote platonic social connection across societyâincluding in school, at work, in public spaces (such as on public transportation), and through entertainment.
âAfter having to reduce social contact during the pandemic, weâve realized how it impacts basically every sector of society,â said Holt-Lunstad. âThat suggests that each of these sectors can potentially play a role in solutions.â
Researchers still have a lot to learn about how and why social connection supports health and well-being. The National Institutes of Health and other organizations are distributing funding for studies on âdyadic processesââor interactions between two peopleâincluding exciting new efforts to collect fMRI data on friends while they communicate.
âWhat we know is that if we donât interact regularly, things go really bad remarkably fast. But what is the magic in these interactions thatâs keeping us healthy and sane?â Wheatley asked. âMore and more researchers are saying thereâs this huge part of human behavior we know very little about. Letâs change that.â
The role of friendships in well-being Fehr, B., & Harasmychuk, C. In Maddux, J. E. (Ed.), Subjective Well-Being and Life Satisfaction, Routledge , 2017
Beyond the isolated brain: The promise and challenge of interacting minds Wheatley, T., et al., Neuron , 2019
Adult friendship and wellbeing: A systematic review with practical implications Pezirkianidis, C., et al., Frontiers in Psychology , 2023
What prevents people from making friends: A taxonomy of reasons Apostolou, M., & Keramari, D., Personality and Individual Differences , 2020
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Questions about the application or required materials should be directed to the Harvard Griffin GSAS Admissions Office at [email protected] or 617-496-6100. Harvard Griffin GSAS does not discriminate against applicants or students on the basis of race, color, national origin, ancestry or any other protected classification.
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Growing yourself helps the relationship improve or you will better see the reality of your situation. When a high-conflict relationship enters my office, I usually point it out immediately.
A casual relationship with the operator of a hot dog stand in Toronto helped Gillian Sandstrom, PhD, feel grounded and connected while pursuing her master's degree. The relationship also inspired Sandstrom, now a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Sussex, to start studying "weak" social ties.