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Argumentative Essay: Marriage
Once you reach a certain age or a certain amount of time spent with the same partner, especially as a woman, friends and family will inevitably start asking questions about marriage or even downright pressure you into taking this step. But is getting married such a good idea? I believe not, since, nowadays, at least in the developed countries, it doesn’t bring truly valuable benefits.
Marriage is no longer necessary legally or practically. Once upon a time, for a woman, getting married meant ensuring financial security and gaining access to a variety of legal rights they wouldn’t dream of otherwise. But now, in the modern world, years after the feminist movement has established legal rights for women, we no longer need marriage to get access to certain benefits. Nowadays, women are highly educated and actually constitute the majority of the workforce in the US. Furthermore, we no longer require a marriage license to be allowed to visit our partner in the hospital, and, for a lot of us, getting married doesn’t even imply a tax break.
Marriage does not guarantee fidelity. Many people get married hoping that the sanctity of marriage will reduce the chances of being cheated on. But if your spouse doesn’t respect your relationship and is tempted to cheat, a piece of paper will have no power in preventing infidelity. Actually, it seems that in around half of marriages, one of the spouses will have an extra-marital relation at some point.
There’s no longer a stigma on you if you have a child without getting married. While, in the past, having a child before marriage was terrifying for a woman due to social stigmatization, nowadays, we’ve become considerably more open-minded. Actually, according to a Pew report, even in 2008, over 40 percent of births were to unmarried women – and the number has risen during the last few years. In addition, according to the HHS, a third of children adoptions in the US are by single parents or unmarried couples.
Marriage does not bring security in a relationship. There are too many people deciding to get married for the wrong reason. And one of them is thinking that it will ensure that “until death do us part”. While this may have been true a long time ago, or still is when it comes to very religious persons, marriage doesn’t ensure the security of the relationships in many of the cases. Though the divorce in the US rate has seen ups and downs during the last few years, it is still alarmingly higher compared to what it was a few decades ago. The only thing that will truly bring security is having a strong relationship, based on trust, no matter the legal status.
Love is mysterious and magical, and it should stay that way. And marriage, by definition, is just a contract. The beauty of love is that it is undefined, it is unique to you and your beloved one, and it is continually changing as you grow together. I neither need nor want my love to be defined in legal terms.
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How to Respond to the Argument Against Marriage
Some believe marriage is unnecessary and represents a disingenuous commitment..
Posted February 5, 2019
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Many people take marriage to be a meaningful event and condition. In his important paper, "An Argument against Marriage," philosopher Dan Moller argues that if we think about marriage clearly, we see that marrying is implausible. Moller builds upon and develops what has come to be called "The Bachelor's Argument," which is the argument that bachelors sometimes present in order to explain why, although they love, they cannot in good conscience marry.
The argument proceeds as follows: When we marry, we promise to love till death do us part. But it is wrong to make a promise we know we may well not be able to keep. For example, it is wrong to promise to return a loan we know we may well not be able to return.
But it is not only that we cannot honestly promise to love till death. We cannot promise to love beyond the present. Love is an emotion , and as such, the argument goes, uncontrollable: We cannot promise to continue to have a certain emotion in the future. In five years time, we may love, but we may also not love, and it's not up to us. Indeed, experience shows that many people fall out of love. Hence, it seems that when we vow in the marriage ceremony to love, we are making a disingenuous promise — a promise that we may well not be able to fulfill. And if we realize this, making the marriage vow is, of course, wrong.
Should we then be promising in the marriage ceremony something else? There are some alternatives, but they, too, are problematic. First, if we are not promising to stay in love, perhaps we should be understood as promising just to stay married for as long as we love.
But this interpretation of what we do when marrying doesn't make much sense either. For this purpose we do not need marriage, vows, or commitment; we might plausibly be doing this anyway (i.e., staying together for as long as we love, and when we cease loving, leave). This doesn't seem to be what we commit ourselves to when we marry, since this is what we often do anyway without any commitment. If in marriage we commit ourselves to something, it is probably to something else.
Maybe, then, what we do in marriage should be understood as promising to stay married even if we cease loving each other. But staying in a loveless marriage is probably not something that we or our would-be spouse want to promise. Further, if our marriage would turn out to be loveless, perhaps it is indeed better not to continue it.
So these are three possible understandings of what we do when marrying: (a) We commit ourselves to feeling love in the future; (b) we commit ourselves to staying together for as long as both of us feel like staying together; and (c) we commit ourselves to staying together even if we stop loving each other. All three understandings of what we do in marrying render the act implausible. Perhaps, then, we should just forgo this practice. It doesn't make sense to marry. It seems empty and insincere.
Here, however, is a fourth way of understanding what we do when we marry. This interpretation, I suggest, renders the decision to marry and the act of marrying plausible.
In marrying, we do two things. First, we make an assertion about our emotional state at the time we are marrying. We are saying that we feel great love. When marrying, we are making a public statement about our emotional state.
Second, we do make a promise. We promise to invest work in performing certain acts that are likely to sustain the love that we feel now, and to refrain from acts that will destroy it. While we cannot promise to have certain emotions, we can promise to engage in or refrain from certain behaviors that influence these emotions.
Examples of love-sustaining behaviors include investing time and effort in what will support and strengthen our loved one; sharing with him or her a significant part of our thoughts, hopes, and feelings, including those we usually don't share with strangers; doing various activities together; creating circumstances that would allow us to experience things together; emphasizing to our loved one that they are special to us; and helping our loved one cope with physical and emotional difficulties. Examples of love-diminishing behaviors include marital infidelity , humiliating our spouse publicly or privately, and revealing private information about them to others.
Contrary to a common view, most of us can (and do) significantly influence our emotions by opting for certain behaviors. The ability to influence emotions differs among people. But we often do try to influence our emotions, and in many cases we do so with significant success. For example, we decide not to talk with the neighbor right now in order to not get angry. We try not to sit beside a certain relative in a family gathering in order to not be bored . We try to sit beside another relative in order to feel liked. We go to a film in order to feel pleasure. We study hard in order to succeed in the exam and feel pride afterwards, or in order to avoid feeling guilt and shame . In fact, it is plausible to describe most of our waking hours as engaged in behaviors that aim to influence our emotions.
True, we do not always succeed. Some people don't know how to influence their emotions — they just don't do the right things. Our emotions are also impacted by what other people do, luck, and other factors. Further, emotions sometimes do have their autonomous rhyme and reason, especially when they are intense. But the claim that we cannot influence our emotions is mistaken. Many of us can, and often do, influence our emotions to a very significant degree. We usually do not influence them directly; in most cases, we cannot just decide to feel happy, sad, interested, or bored — although this too can happen. But the influence can be had by engaging in behaviors and creating conditions that impact our emotions.
What I have said here about emotions in general is true, of course, also of love. Here, too, we sometimes pick the wrong behaviors to sustain our love. Some of what affects our love, such as the behavior of our loved one, is not up to us. However, engaging in love-sustaining behaviors and avoiding love-diminishing ones does typically have a strong impact on maintaining, and even enhancing, the love we have.
What we do when marrying, then, is to declare that we feel strong love, that it is very important to us, and that we are ready to commit ourselves to work in ways that would maintain and enhance this love in the future. This is not so different from other examples of commitment in which we invest effort. For example, a person may commit herself to a certain career . She might decide that she wants to be a pianist or a runner. Hence, she commits herself to doing some things and refraining from others. She may commit to studying for many years, practicing regularly, eating some foods and avoiding others, etc.
Thus, if what has been suggested above is correct, the decision to marry, and the act of marrying, can be sensible and plausible. According to this fourth interpretation, marriage does not involve a disingenuous, empty, or meaningless commitment. Quite the contrary.
Dan Moller, "An Argument against Marriage," Philosophy 78 (2003): 79-91.
Iddo Landau, "An Argument for Marriage," Philosophy 79 (2004): 475-481.
Iddo Landau, Ph.D. , is a Professor of Philosophy at the University of Haifa. He has written extensively on the meaning of life and is the author of Finding Meaning in an Imperfect World .
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344 Marriage Essay Topics & Examples
Whether you’re writing about unconventional, traditional, or arranged marriage, essay topics can be pretty handy. Consider some original ideas gathered by our experts and discuss divorce, weddings, and family in your paper.
🏆 Best Marriage Essay Examples & Topics
👍 good marriage essay topics, 💡 simple topics about marriage, ⭐ interesting research topics about marriage, 🔍 good research topics about marriage, 📌 most interesting marriage topics to write about, ❓ marriage research questions.
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- “Social Attitudes Regarding Same-Sex Marriage and LGBT…” by Hatzenbuehler It relates to the fact that the scientists failed to articulate a research question in the proper form. However, it is possible to mention that the two hypotheses mitigate the adverse effect of the lacking […]
- Cuban Americans Views on Marriage The representatives of different racial and ethnic groups tend to share dissimilar views regarding marriage, parenting, and divorce that are based on their cultural traditions and beliefs.
- Specific Communication Styles That Make for Happy Marriages The next style of communication is submissive, characterized by a desire to please other people, and avoid conflicts by all means.
- Does Marriage Bring Happiness?: Based on “The Story of an Hour” In this case, marriage is not a union of the loved ones but is a social obligation where a wife is a subject of a husband.Mr. Millard’s family seemed a perfect example of the social […]
- The Defense of Marriage Act: LGBTQ + Community One of the milestones in the development of the struggle of members of the LGBTQ + community for their rights in the United States is the adoption of the Defense of Marriage Act.
- Marriage and Divorce: Problems of Couples This seems to be the same stand that is taken by Paul in regards to the position of the man and the woman in the marriage, where the man seems to be the sole determinant […]
- Legalization of the Same-Sex Marriage: Advantages In this particular section, I would like to find out by which percent the economy of different countries will grow when the government legalizes homosexuality due to the excess expenses that it uses in buying […]
- Controversies Surrounding the Topic of Same-Sex Marriage In particular, the emergence of same-sex relations is the sign of the deinstitutionalization of the concept of marriage in society. The changes that occurred at the beginning of the 90s of the past century were […]
- The Gay Marriages: Ethical and Economic Perspectives Among the key ethical dilemmas that are related to the issue in question, the conflict between religious beliefs and the necessity to provide the aforementioned services, the issue regarding the company’s needs v.its duty to […]
- Marriage and Crime Reduction: Is There a Relationship? It is clear that marriage plays an integral role in reducing crime through a shift of priorities that are family centered and the transition to adulthood.
- Effects of Mastectomy on Marriage This is because the husband has to deal with the fact that his wife has one breast. The husband is affected by his wife’s condition of a missing breast.
- California’s Proposition 8 on Same-Sex Marriages However, in other states, obtaining the right for same sex marriages is only one of a series of the issues that have arisen since much controversy as the U.S.same sex marriages movement rose in the […]
- “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail”: The “Bang” or “Whimper?” As mentioned above, it is common for people to assume that if something is wrong in a close relationship between a wife and a husband, there is a profound and apparent conflict to blame.
- The Role of Marriage on the Example of Two Plays The plays Waiting for Godot and A Long Day’s Journey into Night indirectly imply the topic of the marriage’s role and how it impacts the individuals.
- The Opinion of Americans on Whether Gay Marriage Should Be Allowed or Not Based on the political nature of the population, 43% of the democrats think, American society supports gay marriages and only 18% of the republicans hold the same view.
- Millennials Say Marriage Ideal but Parenthood the Priority However, it is still believed that the joy of giving birth to a child is one of the greatest joys in life.
- Doomed Marriage in “The Girls in Their Summer Dresses” by Irwin Shaw The most common answer to this question is that these people love each other. The article The Girls in Their Summer Dresses testifies to the fact that marriage is doomed.
- Sexuality, Marriage, Gay Rights The supremacy of law and protection of people right lie in the heart of the protection of the freedom of personality.”Part of the basis of democratic government in the United States is a system of […]
- Cross-Border Marriages Between Japan and China: Reasons and Results Besides, the statistics of Japanese men and women dissatisfied with their marriages is humbling; consequently, determined to find a more gratifying alternative, men are engaged in cross-border marriage enterprise.
- Same-Sex Marriage Policy & Social Impact Reflection Creation of public policies and laws are significantly influenced by the diversity in culture forcing the government to engage with the society when developing policies.
- Same‐Sex Couples, Families, and Marriage The article under consideration is a systematic review of the recent scientific literature that addresses the range of issues that same-sex couples face and the peculiarities of their inner structure.
- Marriage Premium for Professional Athletes Researchers in the sphere of the labor economy agree that there is a connection between marital status and the number of wages earned by men.
- Polygamy in Islam: Marriage Issues Thus, the faith of people in their prophet is also the basis and rationale for the practice of polygamy. The fact that Islam views marriage as a sacred act of goodness and mutual help is […]
- “How I Met Your Mother”: Ideas of Marriage The central relationship throughout the series is Marshall and Lily’s marriage, with its ups and downs, individual quirks, and their influence on each other.
- Woman’s Position in Marriage: Similarities in History With time she began to see the creeping figures in the pattern of the wallpapers in the room; with an absence of any physical and mental activity, her anxiety began to increase and resulted in […]
- For Richer (Not for Poorer): The Inequality Crisis of Marriage An example of a factual claim made by the writer is where she states that the number of marriages in the United States dropped by 5% from the year 2009 to 2010.
- In Defense of Marriage Act 1996 As the editorial holds, the power of the law is lower than that of the congress and therefore its application on the subject of marriage is like depriving the congress of its powers of regulating […]
- Effect of Same-Sex Marriage on the Legal Structure of Gender in All Marriages Despite the fact that the current article does not address the gender roles in the family, parallels can be drawn showing that in no way the institutionalization of same-sex marriage can have an effect on […]
- Gender, Love and Sexuality: Healthy Marriage Formation Parties in marriage must have trust in each other because it is a basis for the growth of their union. Parties in a marriage need to be romantic as it harnesses love and loyalty.
- Marriage and Mothering Challenges In the modern world, the institution of marriage and the issue of motherhood have experienced challenges due to changes in perception.
- Interventions in Institution of Marriage Analysis This paper helps to understand the principles of evaluation research, the effectiveness of the intervention selected for settling marital discord and the use of evidence elicited in the research analysis for the purpose of enhancing […]
- The Case Against Gay Marriage The Constitutional protection to equal rights under the law has been invoked over and over again to try and afford homosexuals “equal right” to the social institution of marriage and to social security when one […]
- Marriage and Physical Well-Being The dissolution of a marriage combined with the poor quality of the marriage leading up to the divorce is associated with the decline of both mental and physical health resulting in the increased use of […]
- Cohabitation Before Marriage One of the many disadvantages of cohabiting is that in this condition, you are never sure of your partner’s next move.
- Irony of Marriages in an Indian Set Up On the contrary, it is a belief, which can well be attributed to the rigidity of an Indian cultural norm that forces its followers to believe that the institution of marriage is indeed a handiwork […]
- Marriage and Family Systems: Western Society and Kadara of Nigeria The institution of marriage in the modern culture holds a distinct development over the years. In these cultures, marriage is negotiated by the parents of the betrothed.
- Re-Thinking Homosexual Marriage in Rational and Ethical Fashion We demonstrate that the way out of the hysterical debate is to consider soberly the basis for supporting the ordinary family as the basic unit of society and protector of the next generation.
- Gay Marriage and Bible: Differences From Heterosexual Practice When respected the bonds of marriage leads to the good not only of the couple and their children, but also to the good of society as a whole.
- Definition of Marriage. Reward of Marriage For many years, social scientists have argued on the reward of marriage due to the distinctiveness of the populace who get married and stay married. As a result, the definition of marriage can be broadened […]
- Do Young Couples Marriages Always End in Divorce? The reasons for the failure of the marriage is supposed to stem from the immaturity of the parties involved and the ill preparedness of the couple to deal with the changes that married life brings […]
- The Concept of Marriage: Discussion They control their language and behavior and this is a prime example of symbolic interactionism that is instrumental in the institution of marriage.
- Marriage Rates in Oklahoma and Illinois This essay dwells much in the states of Illinois and Oklahoma and the differences and the reasons for this differences will make up the body of this discussion. Marriage rate differs a lot in the […]
- Interracial Marriage: History and Future Developments Sigler in- “Civil rights in America: 1500 to the present” is of the opinion that the civil rights of the citizens of America is helpful to make and end to the racial segregation in America.”Politics […]
- Civil Union: Legal Recognition of Same-Sex Couples’ Marriages Once the readers are influenced by the argument it is assumed that they would move a social memorandum in favor of the argument and insist the authority to grant the gay couples the status of […]
- Marriage and Family Problems as Social Issues Sociology as a discipline has an extremely wide range of interests and it is next to impossible even to enumerate them, however the issue that has always been of the utmost importance for the sociological […]
- Arranged Marriages: A Critical Analysis While discussing the points in favor of arranged marriage, the writer does not seem to have taken a stand in favor yet he has provided evidence to show that arranged marriage is an outlet for […]
- How Is Marriage Related to Health? We can only surmise how marriage is related to health, but those who have been through a lot of problems and hassles as a result of bad marriages, literally know what marriage can bring to […]
- Marriage and Family: Women as Love Experts and Victims As evidenced in the case of Roberta, it is essential for women to continually reiterate emotions of love at regular intervals, in the absence of which she begins to lose faith in the very basics […]
- Domestic Violence in Marriage and Family While there are enormous reports of intimate partner homicides, murders, rapes, and assaults, it is important to note that victims of all this violence find it very difficult to explain the matter and incidents to […]
- The Definition of Marriage The Sexual Revolution that took place in the 1960s caused sex to brazenly slip out of the boundaries of marriage. S, same-sex marriage is legal only in the states of Iowa and Massachusetts.
- The Effects of Social Media on Marriage in the UAE This paper will explore the effects of social media in its relation to marriage, highlighting both the positive and the negative effects on the individuals and society as a whole.
- Gender Role Attitudes and Expectations for Marriage The older spouses explained this by saying that they regarded marriage as the only right way of living together and that it was common to get married early back in the late 1970s.
- First and Second Marriages: Psychological Perspective It is possible to say that counseling can be a starting point for couples wanting to end the relationships appropriately or prevent a divorce.
- Gay Marriage: Societal Suicide While Colson and Morse cannot neglect the need to oppose gay marriage because it destroys human society, the tone, references to the law, and the language chosen for the article help the reader understand the […]
- Early Arranged Marriages in Indonesia The parents and families of the children were directly responsible for the marriage. The increase in the age of marriage started in the second half of the twentieth century.
- Same-Sex Marriage Discriminatory Law in Alabama About the given process, the key forces participating in the adoption of the policy include the Alabama Republican Party and the Governor of Alabama, Kay Ivey.
- Family, Marriage, and Parenting Concepts Nowadays Wally is likely to see an ideal marriage as a union of two devoted people who are successful in the society and who show respect and warm feelings top each other.
- Marriage and Divorce Statistics in the United States Similar studies that have been conducted by other organizations and individuals also estimate the divorce rates in America to be between 30% and 40%. External pressures for their part, cause divorce by attacking the foundation […]
- “The Case For Same Sex Marriage” Video by Savino
- The Rejection of Marriage and Social Stability
- Family Life Cycle: The Institution of Marriage
- Marriage Expectations in Newlyweds
- Marriage Stages: Mother and Daughter’s Interview
- Marriage Process in Saudi Culture
- Advices for a Happy Marriage Life
- Marriage: The Good, the Bad, and the Greedy
- Long-Lasting Marriage and Its Psychology
- Marriage: Economic, Social and Political Meanings
- Interfaith Marriages in Islamic Views
- The Smart Stepfamily Marriage
- Relations and Social Distance in Kinship and Marriage
- Infidelity in Sexual Relationships and Marriage
- Five Filters of Communication in Marriage
- Same-Sex Marriage as a Positive Tendency Nowadays
- American Marriage Trends and Government Measures
- Relationship and Marriage Coaching
- Marriage and Family Class Ideas
- Marriage and Politics in 3500 BC-1600 AD
- Marriage Peculiarities in the United Arab Emirates
- Marriage Life in the Film “The World of Apu”
- High Marriage Costs in the United Arab Emirates
- Marriage Decline as a Social Problem in the US
- Interpersonal Communication Issues in the Marriage
- Absolute Gender Equality in a Marriage
- Marriage in the Films: The Mirror Has Two Faces and Sunrise
- Cohabiting Before Marriage: Reasons and Benefits
- Physical Health Problems in Marriage
- Tthe Defense of Marriage
- Sociology: Marriage and Reasons Why People Get Married
- The Changing Landscape of Love and Marriage
- The Miseries of Enforced Marriage
- “Gay Marriages” by Michael Nava and Robert Dawidoff
- Fairy Tale Marriages Are Not Real
- Family and Marriage Therapy
- Assessing in the Field of Marriage and Family Therapy
- Genograms Role in Family and Marriage
- Gay Marriage’s Social and Religious Debates
- Interracial Marriages in the US
- Marriage and Family Therapy in Connecticut
- Interview of a Marriage and Family Therapist
- Gay Marriage in The UK
- Marriage and Love are Incompatible
- Marriage & Family Therapy
- Gay Marriage: Debating the Ethics, Religion, and Culture Analytical
- Marriage and Family Counselling
- The Problems of Marriage and Divorce
- The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA)
- Homosexuals’ Right to Marry
- The Effectiveness of Marriage Conflict Resolution Programs in the USA
- Millennials Say Marriage is Ideal but Parenthood is the Priority
- The Effect of Marriage on Crime Rate
- Current Trends Affecting Marriage and Family Formation in Asia
- Effects of Same Sex Marriage to the Society
- Incest – How Did Society’s View on Consanguineous Marriage Change Throughout History and Science Development and Why
- Naked Marriage and Chinese Society Research
- Marriage in Early Modern Europe
- Gay Marriage, Same-Sex Parenting, And America’s Children
- The Nature of Aristocratic Marriage and Family in the Mid-Heian Period
- Human Behavior: How Five General Perspectives Affect Marriage
- Marriage and the Limits of Contract
- Defending Gay Marriage
- Relation of Gay Marriage to the Definition of Marriage
- Marriage Concerns in Al-Khobar City
- Concepts of Gay Marriage
- The Idea of Marriage: Why So Eager?
- Effects of the Social, Economic and Technological Change on Marriage
- Defense of Marriage Act
- Medieval Introduction to the Basic Principles of Marriage Sovereignty
- The Ethics of Early Marriages in the American Society
- Gay Marriage: Culture, Religion, and Society
- Factors Influencing Perception on Same-sex marriage in the American Society
- Gay Marriages in New York
- Why Gay Marriages Should Not Be Legalized?
- Interracial Marriage in the U.S.
- Making Marriage Work
- Concept of Representation of Marriage
- Role of Marriage/Family & Singlehood
- Anti-same-sex Marriage Laws and Amendments Violate the Constitutional Guarantees of Equality for all Citizens of the United States
- Interracial Marriages and Relationships in Asian American Communities in the US
- Same-sex Couples and Marriage: Causes and Claims
- Children in Interracial Marriages
- Gay Marriage and Parenting
- Cultural Differences in Arranged Marriages
- Feelings about Marriage and Family Life
- Should Gay Marriages Be Allowed?
- The Importance of Premarital Counseling Before Marriage
- Reasons of the High Homosexual Marriage Rate
- Gay Marriage and Decision Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court
- Arguments for Gay Marriages
- Opposition to the Legalization of Same Sex Marriage
- The Concept of Same Sex Marriage and Child Adoption
- Marriage and Family Imagery in the Cinematography
- Religious, Governmental and Social Views on Same-Sex Marriage
- Love and Marriage during the Era of Mao in Communist China
- Gay Marriages: Why Not Legalize Them?
- 19th Century Norms of Marriage
- Same-Sex Marriage: Sociopolitical
- Monogamy as an Acceptable System of Marriage in America
- Must gay marriage to be legal?
- Marriage as a Basic and Universal Social Institute
- Concepts why marriage matters
- Gay marriage and homosexuality
- Problems in Marriage – The Weakening of Families
- Pre Marriage Counseling: One Year Before Getting Married
- Gay Marriage Legalization
- The Effect of Divorce on a Person After Long Marriage
- Rebuilding Families and Marriage in America’s Society
- Problems in Marriage: Is Divorce the Only Option?
- American vs. Asian Marriages
- Sex Marriage: Personal Opinion
- What Are Factors Aid Determining Societal Norms Marriage Family?
- Who Did First Love Marriage in the World?
- How Does Marriage Affect Physical and Psychological Health?
- How Has Same-Sex Marriage Decision of Supreme Court Impacted Lives?
- What Are the Stages of Marriage?
- How Does the Perspective of Gay Marriage?
- Why Should Couples Not Live Together Before Marriage?
- How Do Cohabitation and Marriage Effects Childhood Well?
- What Are the Types of Marriage?
- How Do Legal Constraints Affect Marriage and Family Formations?
- How Has Marriage Changed Over the Last 30 Years?
- Can a Marriage Survive Different Political Views?
- Why Do People Stop Fighting for Their Marriage?
- How Does Same-Sex Marriage Affect Decreasing Population Growth?
- Why Do Men Change After Marriage?
- Why Married Couples Drift Apart After Marriage?
- Why Was Marriage Originally Created?
- How Does Same-Sex Marriage Affects Society?
- What Does the Bible Say About Marriage?
- What Do the Parental Pressures Affect Your Own Desire for Marriage?
- How Did the Utopian Communities Challenge Existing Ideas About Property and Marriage?
- How Does Infidelity Affect the Marriage and Family?
- How Was Marriage Back in the 1800s?
- Why Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage?
- How Does Infertility Effects Marriage?
- How Does Interracial Marriage Affect Children?
- How Similar Are Cohabitation and Marriage?
- How Far Would You Agree That Marriage Is Based on Social Class?
- When Marriage Loses Its Value?
- What Benefits Are There of Marriage Today?
- Demography Paper Topics
- Constitution Research Ideas
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- Chicago (A-D)
- Chicago (N-B)
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Essays About Love and Relationships: Top 5 Examples
Love, romance, and relationships are just as complicated and messy as they are fascinating. Read our guide on essays about love and relationships.
We, as humans, are social beings. Humanity is inclined towards living with others of our kind and forming relationships with them. Love, whether in a romantic context or otherwise, is essential to a strong relationship with someone. It can be used to describe familial, friendly, or romantic relationships; however, it most commonly refers to romantic partners.
Love and relationships are difficult to understand, but with effort, devotion, and good intentions, they can blossom into something beautiful that will stay with you for life. This is why it is important to be able to discern wisely when choosing a potential partner.
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5 Essay Examples
1. love and marriage by kannamma shanmugasundaram, 2. what my short-term relationships taught me about love and life by aaron zhu, 3. true love waits by christine barrett, 4. choosing the right relationship by robert solley, 5. masters of love by emily esfahani smith, 1. what is a healthy romantic relationship, 2. a favorite love story, 3. relationship experiences, 4. lessons relationships can teach you, 5. love and relationships in the 21st century, 6. is marriage necessary for true love.
“In successful love marriages, couples have to learn to look past these imperfections and remember the reasons why they married each other in the first place. They must be able to accept the fact that neither one of them is perfect. Successful love marriages need to set aside these superior, seemingly impossible expectations and be willing to compromise, settling for some good and some bad.”
Shanmugasundaram’s essay looks at marriage in Eastern Cultures, such as her Indian traditions, in which women have less freedom and are often forced into arranged marriages. Shanmugasundaram discusses her differing views with her parents over marriage; they prefer to stick to tradition while she, influenced by Western values, wants to choose for herself. Ultimately, she has compromised with her parents: they will have a say in who she marries, but it will be up to her to make the final decision. She will only marry who she loves.
“There is no forever, I’ve been promised forever by so many exes that it’s as meaningless to me as a homeless person promising me a pot of gold. From here on out, I’m no longer looking for promises of forever, what I want is the promise that you’ll try your best and you’ll be worth it. Don’t promise me forever, promise me that there will be no regrets.”
In Zhu’s essay, he reflects on his lessons regarding love and relationships. His experiences with past partners have taught him many things, including self-worth and the inability to change others. Most interestingly, however, he believes that “forever” does not exist and that going into a relationship, they should commit to as long as possible, not “forever.” Furthermore, they should commit to making the relationship worthwhile without regret.
“For life is a constant change, love is the greatest surprise, friendship is your best defense, maturity comes with responsibility and death is just around the corner, so, expect little, assume nothing, learn from your mistakes, never fail to have faith that true love waits, take care of your friends, treasure your family, moderate your pride and throw up all hatred for God opens millions of flowers without forcing the buds, reminding us not to force our way but to wait for true love to happen perfectly in His time.”
Barrett writes about how teenagers often feel the need to be in a relationship or feel “love” as soon as possible. But unfortunately, our brains are not fully matured in our teenage years, so we are more likely to make mistakes. Barrett discourages teenagers from dating so early; she believes that they should let life take its course and enjoy life at the moment. Her message is that they shouldn’t be in a rush to grow up, for true love will come to those who are patient. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment and essays about girlfriends .
“A paucity of common interests gets blamed when relationships go south, but they are rarely the central problem. Nonetheless, it is good to have some — mostly in terms of having enough in common that there are things that you enjoy spending time doing together. The more important domains to consider are personality and values, and when it comes to personality, the key question is how does your potential partner handle stress.”
Solley, from a more psychological perspective, gives tips on how one can choose the ideal person to be in a relationship with. Love is a lifetime commitment, so much thought should be put into it. One should look at culture, values regarding spending money, and common interests. Solley believes that you should not always look for someone with the same interests, for what makes a relationship interesting is the partners’ differences and how they look past them.
“There are two ways to think about kindness. You can think about it as a fixed trait: Either you have it or you don’t. Or you could think of kindness as a muscle. In some people, that muscle is naturally stronger than in others, but it can grow stronger in everyone with exercise. Masters tend to think about kindness as a muscle. They know that they have to exercise it to keep it in shape. They know, in other words, that a good relationship requires sustained hard work.”
Smith discusses research conducted over many years that explains the different aspects of a relationship, including intimacy, emotional strength, and kindness. She discusses kindness in-depth, saying that a relationship can test your kindness, but you must be willing to work to be kind if you love your partner. You might also be interested in these essays about divorce .
6 Writing Prompts On Essays About Love and Relationships
Everyone has a different idea of what makes a great relationship. For example, some prioritize assertiveness in their partner, while others prefer a calmer demeanor. You can write about different qualities and habits that a healthy, respectful relationship needs, such as quality time and patience. If you have personal experience, reflect on this as well; however, if you don’t, write about what you would hope from your future partner.
Love and relationships have been an essential element in almost every literary work, movie, and television show; an example of each would be Romeo and Juliet , The Fault in Our Stars , and Grey’s Anatomy . Even seemingly unrelated movies, such as the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings franchises, have a romantic component. Describe a love story of your choice; explain its plot, characters, and, most importantly, how the theme of love and relationships is present.
If you have been in a romantic relationship before, or if you are in one currently, reflect on your experience. Why did you pursue this relationship? Explore your relationship’s positive and negative sides and, if applicable, how it ended. If not, write about how you will try and prevent the relationship from ending.
All our experiences in life form us, relationships included. In your essay, reflect on ways romantic relationships can teach you new things and make you better; consider values such as self-worth, patience, and positivity. Then, as with the other prompts, use your personal experiences for a more interesting essay. Hou might find our guide on how to write a vow helpful.
How love, romance, and relationships are perceived has changed dramatically in recent years; from the nuclear family, we have seen greater acceptance of same-sex relationships, blended families, and relationships with more than two partners—research on how the notion of romantic relationships has changed and discuss this in your essay.
More and more people in relationships are deciding not to get married. For a strong argumentative essay, discuss whether you agree with the idea that true love does not require marriage, so it is fine not to get married in the first place. Research the arguments of both sides, then make your claim.
Check out our guide packed full of transition words for essays . If you’re still stuck, check out our general resource of essay writing topics .
130 Relationship Topics to Debate
Table of contents
- 1 How to Select an Appropriate Relationship Topic to Debate
- 2.1 Long-Distance Relationship Topics to Debate
- 2.2 Controversial Topics in Relationships
- 2.3 Couples Debate Topics
- 2.4 Interesting Debatable Relationship Questions and Topics Ideas
- 2.5 Relationship Debate Topics for Adults
- 2.6 Love Topics for Debate
- 2.7 Relationship Topics About Age and Generational Differences
- 2.8 Good Debate Topics for Couples
- 2.9 Sexual Debate Topics
- 2.10 Controversial Topics about Relationships
- 2.11 Controversial Marriage Topics
- 2.12 Relationship Topics for Youth
- 2.13 Male vs Female Debate Topics
Talking about relations can make us think and learn. We have 130 relationship topics for discussion, from how to make long-distance love work to other debate topics that might start a little argument.
There’s something for everyone – debate topics about relationships for adults, starting out with people together for years. We’ll debate questions about relationships, how age changes our opinions about love, and how men and women sometimes see things from different angles. It’s all about sharing ideas, listening, and even changing our minds. So, let’s get started with hot relationship topics to discuss and see where these controversial questions for couples lead us.
How to Select an Appropriate Relationship Topic to Debate
When choosing a relationship topic to debate, consider the interests and experiences of those involved. Debate topics like balancing a career and family might address daily life or future plans. If you’re part of a group, pick topics, such as the impact of social media on relations. Love themes can get people thinking about deeper emotional aspects, while controversial themes might spark more intense discussions, which is useful for engaging a crowd. For younger participants, they should be relevant and age-appropriate, focusing on issues like dating norms or expectations. All these topics can answer relationship debate questions.
130 Topics to Debate about Relationship
Here is a list of the 130 most engaging relationship debate topics. Explore the main questions that inspire dialogue, deepen understanding, and shed light on the many facets of relationship issues to discuss.
Long-Distance Relationship Topics to Debate
- Is enduring success achievable in long-distance partnerships?
- Do distant bonds grow stronger than those formed nearby?
- Evaluating virtual versus face-to-face communication in long-distance bonds.
- The critical role of trust in the endurance of distant partnerships.
- Navigating time zone hurdles in long-distance arrangements.
- The balance of sharing daily life in long-distance connections.
- Surprise visits in long-distance dynamics: Caring gesture or privacy concern?
- Long-distance ties and their effect on personal growth and autonomy.
- Strategies for sustaining intimacy across the miles.
- The impact on couples when transitioning from long-distance to close proximity.
Controversial Topics in Relationships
- How do financial disparities affect relationship dynamics?
- Should couples share their passwords as a sign of trust?
- Is monogamy natural or a societal construct?
- How does social media usage impact romantic partnerships?
- Can a relationship survive infidelity and regain trust?
- Should couples live together before marriage?
- How do cultural differences shape relationship expectations?
- Is jealousy a sign of love or insecurity?
- Should couples have separate or joint bank accounts?
- What impact does a significant age gap have on a partnership?
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Couples Debate Topics
- Career vs. family: finding balance or inviting conflict?
- Personal space: essential for a good relationship?
- Managing finances: equal split or single earner?
- Deciding on children: a joint or individual decision?
- In-laws: how to establish healthy boundaries.
- Couples therapy: does it build or burden relationships?
- The importance of shared hobbies.
- Decision-making: democratic or by expertise?
- Resolving conflicts: quick confrontation or time to cool off?
- The significance of date nights.
Interesting Debatable Relationship Questions and Topics Ideas
- Dating apps: improving or degrading connection quality?
- Juggling career ambitions with relationship goals.
- Compatibility: shared interests or fundamental values?
- Do opposites really attract?
- Soulmates: still a concept for today?
- How chore division affects a couple’s happiness.
- the advantages of taking time apart.
- Adding relationship education to school programs.
- Couples therapy: fighting the stigma for stronger relationships.
- Societal norms versus personal choices in pursuing happiness.
Relationship Debate Topics for Adults
- Does a higher level of education lead to better decision-making in relationships?
- Is financial stability a prerequisite for a successful marriage?
- Can relations with significant age differences work in the long term?
- Should couples keep secrets to protect their partner’s feelings?
- Is it healthier for a relationship to have a clear leader or to be egalitarian?
- Do shared political beliefs lead to stronger relations?
- How important is it for adults in relations to have separate friendships and hobbies?
- Can you justify staying in an unfulfilling partnership for the sake of the children?
- Is the traditional concept of marriage still relevant in today’s society?
- How does the transition to retirement affect long-standing relations?
Love Topics for Debate
- Is love at first sight a romantic concept or a misleading myth?
- Should love be the primary reason for getting married?
- Can love overcome any obstacle in a relationship, or are some issues insurmountable?
- Is unconditional love possible, or are conditions always present?
- Does true love require sacrifice, or should it come without efforts?
- Is the notion of ‘the one’ helpful or harmful in finding lasting relations?
- Can we quantify or scientifically measure love?
- Is self-love more critical than love from a partner?
- Should love always lead to commitment, or is it sometimes enough on its own?
- Can you love someone without liking them, and what does that mean for relations?
Relationship Topics About Age and Generational Differences
- Age differences: altering power dynamics
- Intergenerational connections: can they bridge cultural divides?
- Dating across generations: the main challenges
- How do generational values mold expectations in relationships?
- Age differences: shaping joint life plans
- Communication styles: how does age change them?
- Perceptions of age gaps: effects on couples
- Technology skills: do age gaps create obstacles?
- Health considerations in age-disparate relationships: what’s different?
- Parenting across age gaps: what are the distinctive experiences?
Good Debate Topics for Couples
- Is compromise always necessary in relations, or are there times when one partner should stand firm?
- Should couples have a set agreement on managing finances or handle money as it comes?
- How important is it for couples to have a shared vision of the future?
- Should personal growth or the growth of the relationship take priority?
- Can too much togetherness harm a relationship’s health?
- Is being honest always the best approach in relationships, or do white lies sometimes help?
- How ought couples to split household responsibilities?
- How much should a couple let their family’s views influence their partnership?
- Is it healthier for relations to maintain some sense of mystery or to have complete transparency?
- How should couples decide on boundaries with friendships outside the relationship?
Sexual Debate Topics
- Is sexual compatibility as critical as emotional compatibility in a partnership?
- Should sex education address pleasure and intimacy, or strictly reproduction and safety?
- Can partnerships survive and thrive without sexual intimacy?
- How do changing societal norms around sexuality impact relationship expectations?
- Is monogamy a realistic expectation in long-term partnerships?
- Should there be more open discussions about sexual needs within relations?
- How do power dynamics in the bedroom reflect the overall dynamics of a relationship?
- Does the portrayal of sex in the media set unrealistic expectations for real-life couples?
- How important is it to maintain a certain frequency of sexual activity in relations?
- Should partners have the right to refuse sex without justification?
Controversial Topics about Relationships
- Is the concept of marriage outdated in modern society?
- Should couples stay together for the sake of their children despite an unhappy marriage?
- Are open relationships a viable alternative to traditional monogamy?
- Can any circumstances justify cheating?
- Is it ethical to use spyware to monitor a partner’s digital activity?
- Should prenuptial agreements be a standard practice for all marriages?
- Is it acceptable to remain friends with an ex when in a new relationship?
- Can true equality exist in relations, or will there always be an imbalance of power?
- Should the legal system be more involved in disputes between unmarried couples?
- Is it necessary for a couple to have similar socio-economic backgrounds for successful relations?
Controversial Marriage Topics
- Should society extend the same benefits to child-free couples as it does to those with children?
- Is a “starter marriage” a valid concept in today’s transient society?
- Should we measure marital success by its longevity or the quality of the union?
- Can marriages between individuals from different cultural backgrounds work without one partner sacrificing their heritage?
- Are arranged marriages more likely to last than marriages based on romance?
- Should there be a legal difference between civil unions and marriages?
- Is it fair for one partner to demand a prenuptial agreement?
- Should the law mandate couples to undergo counseling before they can file for divorce?
- Is it ethical for governments to incentivize marriage through tax breaks and other benefits?
- Should the law allow marital contracts with expiration dates, similar to business contracts?
Relationship Topics for Youth
- Social media’s impact on youth connections
- Including relationship to education in school curricula
- Career discussions among young couples: how crucial?
- The role of peer pressure in adolescent romantic decisions
- Youth settling conflicts away from social media
- Setting and communicating boundaries in teen dating
- Balancing relationships with academics and personal interests
- How does celebrity culture influence young people’s views on relationships?
- Identifying and avoiding toxic teen relationships
- The influence of self-esteem on adolescent connections
Male vs Female Debate Topics
- Gender communication: impact on dynamics
- Sharing chores: is it essential?
- Gender expectations: detrimental to satisfaction
- Gender roles: influence on decision-making
- Emotional intelligence: differences by gender
- Media and gender portrayal: shaping goals
- Dating strategies: should they differ by gender?
- Wage gap: effect on relationship dynamics
- Fighting gender stereotypes as a team.
- The relevance of chivalry and courtship today.
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Primary claim (thesis statement for your argument) argumentative essays examples, men and women can be “just friends,” but the circumstances dictate whether or not they remain platonic friends..
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List the counter arguments you will need to address as well.
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Cross-Sex Friendship: The So-Called “Impossibility” of Inter-Gender Platonic Love
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Thesis statement: Whichever way we look at it, underage marriages are not right, and they should be abolished in every country once and for all. - Body Paragraph
Underage marriage is a violation of the rights of the young girl who gets married.
- The minor does not get involved in the marriage negotiations which contravenes the spirit of marriage. - Apart from being denied education, the girl suffers domestic violence. - Body Paragraph
Underage marriage means early motherhood and a large family as a consequence.
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- How to write an argumentative essay | Examples & tips
How to Write an Argumentative Essay | Examples & Tips
Published on July 24, 2020 by Jack Caulfield . Revised on July 23, 2023.
An argumentative essay expresses an extended argument for a particular thesis statement . The author takes a clearly defined stance on their subject and builds up an evidence-based case for it.
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Table of contents
When do you write an argumentative essay, approaches to argumentative essays, introducing your argument, the body: developing your argument, concluding your argument, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about argumentative essays.
You might be assigned an argumentative essay as a writing exercise in high school or in a composition class. The prompt will often ask you to argue for one of two positions, and may include terms like “argue” or “argument.” It will frequently take the form of a question.
The prompt may also be more open-ended in terms of the possible arguments you could make.
Argumentative writing at college level
At university, the vast majority of essays or papers you write will involve some form of argumentation. For example, both rhetorical analysis and literary analysis essays involve making arguments about texts.
In this context, you won’t necessarily be told to write an argumentative essay—but making an evidence-based argument is an essential goal of most academic writing, and this should be your default approach unless you’re told otherwise.
Examples of argumentative essay prompts
At a university level, all the prompts below imply an argumentative essay as the appropriate response.
Your research should lead you to develop a specific position on the topic. The essay then argues for that position and aims to convince the reader by presenting your evidence, evaluation and analysis.
- Don’t just list all the effects you can think of.
- Do develop a focused argument about the overall effect and why it matters, backed up by evidence from sources.
- Don’t just provide a selection of data on the measures’ effectiveness.
- Do build up your own argument about which kinds of measures have been most or least effective, and why.
- Don’t just analyze a random selection of doppelgänger characters.
- Do form an argument about specific texts, comparing and contrasting how they express their thematic concerns through doppelgänger characters.
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An argumentative essay should be objective in its approach; your arguments should rely on logic and evidence, not on exaggeration or appeals to emotion.
There are many possible approaches to argumentative essays, but there are two common models that can help you start outlining your arguments: The Toulmin model and the Rogerian model.
Toulmin arguments
The Toulmin model consists of four steps, which may be repeated as many times as necessary for the argument:
- Make a claim
- Provide the grounds (evidence) for the claim
- Explain the warrant (how the grounds support the claim)
- Discuss possible rebuttals to the claim, identifying the limits of the argument and showing that you have considered alternative perspectives
The Toulmin model is a common approach in academic essays. You don’t have to use these specific terms (grounds, warrants, rebuttals), but establishing a clear connection between your claims and the evidence supporting them is crucial in an argumentative essay.
Say you’re making an argument about the effectiveness of workplace anti-discrimination measures. You might:
- Claim that unconscious bias training does not have the desired results, and resources would be better spent on other approaches
- Cite data to support your claim
- Explain how the data indicates that the method is ineffective
- Anticipate objections to your claim based on other data, indicating whether these objections are valid, and if not, why not.
Rogerian arguments
The Rogerian model also consists of four steps you might repeat throughout your essay:
- Discuss what the opposing position gets right and why people might hold this position
- Highlight the problems with this position
- Present your own position , showing how it addresses these problems
- Suggest a possible compromise —what elements of your position would proponents of the opposing position benefit from adopting?
This model builds up a clear picture of both sides of an argument and seeks a compromise. It is particularly useful when people tend to disagree strongly on the issue discussed, allowing you to approach opposing arguments in good faith.
Say you want to argue that the internet has had a positive impact on education. You might:
- Acknowledge that students rely too much on websites like Wikipedia
- Argue that teachers view Wikipedia as more unreliable than it really is
- Suggest that Wikipedia’s system of citations can actually teach students about referencing
- Suggest critical engagement with Wikipedia as a possible assignment for teachers who are skeptical of its usefulness.
You don’t necessarily have to pick one of these models—you may even use elements of both in different parts of your essay—but it’s worth considering them if you struggle to structure your arguments.
Regardless of which approach you take, your essay should always be structured using an introduction , a body , and a conclusion .
Like other academic essays, an argumentative essay begins with an introduction . The introduction serves to capture the reader’s interest, provide background information, present your thesis statement , and (in longer essays) to summarize the structure of the body.
Hover over different parts of the example below to see how a typical introduction works.
The spread of the internet has had a world-changing effect, not least on the world of education. The use of the internet in academic contexts is on the rise, and its role in learning is hotly debated. For many teachers who did not grow up with this technology, its effects seem alarming and potentially harmful. This concern, while understandable, is misguided. The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its critical benefits for students and educators—as a uniquely comprehensive and accessible information source; a means of exposure to and engagement with different perspectives; and a highly flexible learning environment.
The body of an argumentative essay is where you develop your arguments in detail. Here you’ll present evidence, analysis, and reasoning to convince the reader that your thesis statement is true.
In the standard five-paragraph format for short essays, the body takes up three of your five paragraphs. In longer essays, it will be more paragraphs, and might be divided into sections with headings.
Each paragraph covers its own topic, introduced with a topic sentence . Each of these topics must contribute to your overall argument; don’t include irrelevant information.
This example paragraph takes a Rogerian approach: It first acknowledges the merits of the opposing position and then highlights problems with that position.
Hover over different parts of the example to see how a body paragraph is constructed.
A common frustration for teachers is students’ use of Wikipedia as a source in their writing. Its prevalence among students is not exaggerated; a survey found that the vast majority of the students surveyed used Wikipedia (Head & Eisenberg, 2010). An article in The Guardian stresses a common objection to its use: “a reliance on Wikipedia can discourage students from engaging with genuine academic writing” (Coomer, 2013). Teachers are clearly not mistaken in viewing Wikipedia usage as ubiquitous among their students; but the claim that it discourages engagement with academic sources requires further investigation. This point is treated as self-evident by many teachers, but Wikipedia itself explicitly encourages students to look into other sources. Its articles often provide references to academic publications and include warning notes where citations are missing; the site’s own guidelines for research make clear that it should be used as a starting point, emphasizing that users should always “read the references and check whether they really do support what the article says” (“Wikipedia:Researching with Wikipedia,” 2020). Indeed, for many students, Wikipedia is their first encounter with the concepts of citation and referencing. The use of Wikipedia therefore has a positive side that merits deeper consideration than it often receives.
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An argumentative essay ends with a conclusion that summarizes and reflects on the arguments made in the body.
No new arguments or evidence appear here, but in longer essays you may discuss the strengths and weaknesses of your argument and suggest topics for future research. In all conclusions, you should stress the relevance and importance of your argument.
Hover over the following example to see the typical elements of a conclusion.
The internet has had a major positive impact on the world of education; occasional pitfalls aside, its value is evident in numerous applications. The future of teaching lies in the possibilities the internet opens up for communication, research, and interactivity. As the popularity of distance learning shows, students value the flexibility and accessibility offered by digital education, and educators should fully embrace these advantages. The internet’s dangers, real and imaginary, have been documented exhaustively by skeptics, but the internet is here to stay; it is time to focus seriously on its potential for good.
If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!
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An argumentative essay tends to be a longer essay involving independent research, and aims to make an original argument about a topic. Its thesis statement makes a contentious claim that must be supported in an objective, evidence-based way.
An expository essay also aims to be objective, but it doesn’t have to make an original argument. Rather, it aims to explain something (e.g., a process or idea) in a clear, concise way. Expository essays are often shorter assignments and rely less on research.
At college level, you must properly cite your sources in all essays , research papers , and other academic texts (except exams and in-class exercises).
Add a citation whenever you quote , paraphrase , or summarize information or ideas from a source. You should also give full source details in a bibliography or reference list at the end of your text.
The exact format of your citations depends on which citation style you are instructed to use. The most common styles are APA , MLA , and Chicago .
The majority of the essays written at university are some sort of argumentative essay . Unless otherwise specified, you can assume that the goal of any essay you’re asked to write is argumentative: To convince the reader of your position using evidence and reasoning.
In composition classes you might be given assignments that specifically test your ability to write an argumentative essay. Look out for prompts including instructions like “argue,” “assess,” or “discuss” to see if this is the goal.
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Advantages and Disadvantages of Love Marriage
Looking for advantages and disadvantages of Love Marriage?
We have collected some solid points that will help you understand the pros and cons of Love Marriage in detail.
But first, let’s understand the topic:
What is Love Marriage?
What are the advantages and disadvantages of love marriage.
The following are the advantages and disadvantages of Love Marriage:
Advantages | Disadvantages |
---|---|
Better communication | Lack of family support |
Personal freedom | Financial independence |
Shared goals and values | Social stigma |
Greater commitment | Difficulties with cultural differences |
Stronger emotional bond | Risk of failure |
Advantages of Love Marriage
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Home — Essay Samples — Literature — Jane Austen — Love, Marriage, and Gender in Jane Austen’s Persuasion
Love, Marriage, and Gender in Jane Austen’s Persuasion
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In both Jane Austen’s Northanger Abbey and Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre, the authors use the gothic style to represent fears or anxieties their female protagonists' lives. Both Jane Eyre and Catherine Morland suffer from gothic [...]
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How to Handle Arguments in Marriage
- By Nicole Unice
- March 15, 2022
My husband and I knew we were too upset for a conversation—but we had it anyway. What started as a tense volley of one-liners devolved into a yelling match and then the ice-cold silence that often follows our heated exchanges. By the end of the evening, we were both exhausted from the tension and frustrated by our inability to communicate.
I wish I could say this exchange happened ages ago. But it didn’t. It happened last year.
I’ve spent most of my adult life engaging in the dynamics of relationships—what works, what doesn’t and how we move past the hurt into places of vulnerability, connection and love. Though I’m a “professional” relationship person, I still find myself in frustrating situations with my husband in which we both feel misunderstood, unseen and disrespected. But what made this conflict different from others in the past is that we allowed it to lead us toward, rather than away from, deeper places of connection and love.
Most of us have experienced arguments in marriage, moments of conflict . We try to communicate our needs or desires to each other and end up feeling misunderstood, or even worse, dismissed. Our natural reaction is to blow up, shut up or give up. But there is another way. It’s not about never having a disagreement or conflict with your spouse; it’s about what you do after it happens.
Growing closer after the fight
The moment after the irritated, raised voices or cold silence is when we recognize that we’ve misunderstood each other. What we do next is an opportunity to either let the argument drive us apart or bring us together. To grow closer through conflict , we need some new tools in our relationship toolbox.
According to Dr. John Gottman, a marriage therapist, author and researcher, only 30% of problems that couples face are solvable. Perhaps that’s why we rarely focus on the real, unsolvable problem when we argue in our marriage.
I might feel frustrated because my spouse always seems to be on his cellphone when we’re talking. But the problem isn’t necessarily the phone; it’s the fact that I feel disregarded when I want to connect with him.
The majority of the problems couples fight about have to do with our personalities, wiring or conflicting values. When we fight, many of us see only what is in front of us without asking the deeper questions about what is really upsetting us. Next time you argue with your spouse, allow curiosity to help you understand what the real problem is.
Curiosity helped me understand that if my spouse is scrolling on his phone when I’m trying to talk with him, I interpret his lack of undivided attention as a lack of interest in me. That’s the primary problem. The cellphone is secondary.
When we’re curious about our perceptions and interpretations, we get in touch with our actual hurts, desires and longings. And that is the place where intimacy can grow.
Moving past behaviors
Fighting about behaviors often keeps us from addressing more vulnerable issues of desire and need. But breakthrough moments happen when we’re willing to move past the behaviors into deeper conversations. Only then can we open ourselves to each other with vulnerability and courage.
For instance, I once worked with a couple named Debbie and Mike, who were dealing with behavior issues. They squabbled over weekend plans, social time with other couples and parenting.
But beyond the behaviors, Debbie was frustrated that Mike tended to dismiss her ideas and then respond defensively when she tried to bring it up. Mike was frustrated that Debbie tended to withdraw and go silent whenever he wanted to “have it out.”
To move past these arguments in marriage, they needed to have deeper conversations about how their behavior, such as squabbling over weekend plans, led to feelings of frustration and disappointment, and how each person was interpreting those feelings. These moments would happen only when Mike (or Debbie) could honestly say, “When we talked about weekend plans, I felt frustrated that you walked away. I interpreted that to mean that you didn’t care or didn’t want to spend time with me. Can you help me understand your perspective?”
Connecting through compromise
Conflict feels most threatening when we lose connection. When we disagree and then distance from each other, fear and insecurity rise to the surface. We tend to protect ourselves by blaming, guarding or acquiescing without really working through the conflict. But when we maintain connection, we are often able to compromise on behaviors to unite with love.
Closer connection happens when we let down our guard and validate the other’s experience. This doesn’t necessarily mean apologizing, although sometimes it does. Validating means seeking to understand the other person’s perspective and choose empathy that says, “I can see how you would feel that way” or “Now that I hear your side, I can see how that would be difficult/frustrating/disappointing.” Validation is the willingness to leave our corner and say, “I’m open to viewing this differently.”
Another way we move from defensiveness toward connection is by conveying commitment. Conveying commitment can be as simple as saying, “I’m on your team” or “I’m committed to us, and I want to work through this.” When we convey commitment, we soothe any fears (even irrational ones) the other person may have about conflict fracturing the relationship.
Compromise without connection feels like losing. Compromise with connection feels like love. This kind of intimacy happens when we choose to seek understanding, move past behaviors and stay connected even amid conflict. When we’re connected, conflict becomes less scary and love grows deeper, one conversation at a time.
© 2022 Nicole Unice. Used by permission. All rights reserved. This article first appeared in the April/May 2022 Focus on the Family magazine as “Arguments Don’t Have to Tear You Apart.”
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